Are You in a Quarter Life Crisis? Let’s Navigate it Together

It’s a process to go through, not a problem to solve

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It hits you out of nowhere — one minute you're cruising through life, things seem steady, and you're in a routine. But suddenly, you start questioning everything. Your career, relationships, goals — it’s as if a wave of uncertainty crashes into every part of your life. Welcome to the quarter life crisis, a phase all of us go through, yet so few talk about. The good news? You’re not alone, and you don’t have to navigate it by yourself.

What Exactly is a Quarter Life Crisis?

The quarter life crisis isn’t just a buzzword; it’s a real experience. It's the literal and metaphorical separation from your old life — a life where values, the concept of success, and how you found your worth, were all decided for you not by you. The good news is that at the end of this process, you will have reshaped all of these definitions for yourself, and your external life will start to reflect the internal truths you discover.

The 4 Phases of a Quarter Life Crisis

As it turns out, the quarter life crisis is actually experienced in phases. These phases usually happen in order. Knowing this can arm us with the tools and strategies to move through whichever phase we're in, and on to the next. Remember, this is a process to go through. There is no silver bullet, or one-size-fits-all solution.

1. Phase 1: Trapped. You realize that the life you are leading currently is the culmination of myriad decisions that were made for you – by your parents, by the belief systems of the people you grew up around, and by authority figures' ideas of success. Thus begins the crisis – things that you've spent more than a decade working for are... no longer important to you. Admitting this to yourself is the way out of this phase and on to the next.
2. Phase 2: Separation. After the painful realization that your external life does not reflect things you care about internally, you start to separate from that life. You start slacking off, living for the weekend, quiet-quitting, and planning trips to distract yourself. And spoiler alert: this is where most people start to feel stuck in life. When the distractions wear off, or cease to be exciting ways to dissociate from your life, you might even begin to physically separate from your life. Maybe you plan to move cities to escape the feeling of being stuck. This is probably the most painful phase, because of the sheer number of options you have. But let me tell you this – the way to make it through this phase is very specific. The only thing you have to do is not go back to your old life. Don't do it. Resist the temptation to move backwards into a familiar, comfortable existence. More is being asked of you.
3. Phase 3: Exploration. Finally – after all the pain and stuckness from the first two phases comes "the work". This phase is where you get to actually explore what matters to you. You've removed yourself from the identity of your old life, so you've created room to adopt new values and beliefs that align with who you are at your core. This is where you have to give yourself permission to pull at the thread of what lights you up. You are literally rediscovering yourself and laying the foundation for your future.
4. Phase 4: Rebuilding. Phew, we made it to the final phase. This is where you take everything you learned about yourself in phase 3, and start applying it to your life. What values did you discover are important to you, and how can you make sure you're inserting those into your life? What hobbies/interests did you find deeply fascinating? Can you build a career out of those? This phase is where we are literally molding our external lives to start reflecting what's going on internally.

Embrace the Process

This crisis might feel like a setback, but it’s actually the start of a beautiful journey. By reflecting on where you’ve been and where you want to go, you’re setting yourself up for a life that’s more aligned with who you really are.

The reason it's so painful is because we are viewing the feelings associated with any particular phase as problems to solve. But reframing the crisis as a process to go through might help you think differently about whichever phase you're in. How can you lean into the process and start working through it?

Until next week,