Oct 3, 2024 3 min read Life Lessons

I don’t know why I always do that

Many of us have more than one version of ourselves—parts of us, that we’ve left behind, disconnected from. But what happens when those parts keep showing up in our behaviors, and emotions. And because we’re not fully connected to them, we don't recognize them

A conversation with all my alter egos

Many of us have more than one version of ourselves — parts of us that we’ve left behind and become disconnected from. But what happens when those parts keep showing up in our behaviors, emotions, and actions? Because we’re not fully connected to them, we don't recognize them when they show up, and we stay stuck in patterns we don’t understand.

But here’s the good news...😊 by recognizing and reconnecting with these parts of ourselves, we can break free from old habits and behaviors that no longer serve us.

>>> The Versions of You at the Table:

Let's do this one together :)

Imagine yourself sitting at a round table... seated with you are all the different versions of yourself, each with their own needs, fears, and strengths. Identify them, give them names, and give them personas. What emotions comprise each of these different versions?

If you're unsure about who and where you are right now in life...that's ok, we all hit that stage. You can start solving through that today by downloading this episode - Secrets to Break Free from the Quarter Life Crisis

>>> Recognize Their Control

When these versions of yourself are in control, how do you behave?

For me, "Business" Ethan desperately needs quiet and space to focus and take care of things, so he tends to snap at people and push them away to create that space. "Little" Ethan gets a lump in his throat, stays quiet, and avoids taking risks because he's scared to show up fully as himself. These behaviors stem from unspoken needs, and they continue until we start listening to them and giving them the attention they deserve.

>>> Ask What They Need
Literally imagine these parts of you. Ask them what they need to feel safe, respected, or heard.

Back to my example:

Business You might need quiet time and space to focus without interruptions. You might just need to tell the people around you, "I'm a little stressed right now, and I could use some peace and quiet to focus."
Little You might need reassurance, unconditional love, or permission to speak up without fear of judgment. How can you provide that to yourself now as an adult?

When you meet these needs — when you honor the parts of yourself that have been left behind — you’ll notice the negative behaviors start to fade. It’s about recognizing and integrating all aspects of who you are, not just the “productive” or “confident” parts.

This process is a form of shadow work and inner child healing. By reconnecting with every version of yourself, you’re not just healing old wounds — you’re creating a more balanced, whole version of you. A you that’s in control, confident, and compassionate.

Remember, all the parts of you deserve love and attention. As an adult, you can now honor each of these, and tell them that you're going to hear them out and provide for their needs as best as you can, but they are not going to control your life and dictate your behaviors.

When you honor every version of yourself, you create space for healing and growth. You literally have everything to gain, and nothing to lose.

Warmly,